Humans as disease
"We have grown in number to the point where our presence is perceptibly disabling the planet like a disease. As in human disease there are four possible outcomes: destruction of the invading disease organisms; chronic infection; destruction of the host; or symbiosis - a lasting relationship of mutual benefit to the host and the invader."
From James Lovelock, who is a fellow of the Royal Society and one of the world's leading environmentalists. He is also the originator of Gaia Theory.
Does Sustainable Development mean population reduction?
"The root of our problems with the environment comes from a lack of constraint on the growth of population. There is no single right number of people that we can have has a goal; the number varies with our way of life on the planet and the state of its health. It has varied naturally from a few million when we were hunters and gatherers to a fraction of a billion as simple farmers; but now it has grown to over six billion, which is wholly unsustainable in the present state of Gaia, even if we had the will and ability to cut back."
James Lovelock from his book The Revenge of Gaia
Strange nuances: human herd reduction, women's liberation and sterilisation
"Personally I think we would be wise to aim at a stabilized population of of about half to one billion, and then we'd be free to live in many different ways without harming Gaia. At first this may seem a difficult, unpalatable, even hopeless task, but events of the last century suggest that it might be easier than we think. Thus in prosperous societies, when women are given the chance to develop their potential they choose voluntarily to be less fecund."
James Lovelock from his book The Revenge of Gaia
Does this man have Gaia's ear?
"In the end, as always, Gaia will do the culling and eliminate those that breaks her rules. We have the choice to accept this fate or plan our own destiny within Gaia."
James Lovelock from his book The Revenge of Gaia
Euthanasia?
"The regulation of fecundity is part of population control, but the regulation of the death rate is also important. Here,too, people in affluent societies are choosing voluntarily seemly ways to die. Traditionally, hospitals have for the elderly been places for dying in comparative comfort and painlessness; the hospice movement has served to set standards and make this otherwise unmentionable role of the health systems acceptable. According to Hodkinson,in his book An Outline of Geriatrics, about 25% of the elderly entering hospitals die withing two months. Now that the Earth is imminent danger of a transition to a hot inhospitable state, it seems amoral to strive ostentatiously to extend our personal lifespan beyond its normal biological limit of about 100 years. "
James Lovelock from his book The Revenge of Gaia
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Lishman's weekly news round up
It's official: Men really are the weaker sex.
(London Independent, December 7, 2008)
"Evolution is being distorted by pollution, which damages genitals and the ability to father offspring, says new study. Geoffrey Lean reports
The male gender is in danger, with incalculable consequences for both humans and wildlife, startling scientific research from around the world reveals.
The research – to be detailed tomorrow in the most comprehensive report yet published – shows that a host of common chemicals is feminising males of every class of vertebrate animals, from fish to mammals, including people."
Lishman says: Everything we touch turns to oestrogen. Also, the feminising effects of the 50 Hz electrical fields that we live surrounded by in Europe, leave no escape for the beleaguered male.
Read full article here
Scientists abandon global warming 'lie'
650 to dissent at U.N. climate change conference
(Global Research, December 13, 2008)
"WASHINGTON - A United Nations climate change conference in Poland is about to get a surprise from 650 leading scientists who scoff at doomsday reports of man-made global warming - labeling them variously a lie, a hoax and part of a new religion.
Later today, their voices will be heard in a U.S. Senate minority report quoting the scientists, many of whom are current and former members of the U.N.'s own Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change.
About 250 of the scientists quoted in the report have joined the dissenting scientists in the last year alone.
In fact, the total number of scientists represented in the report is 12 times the number of U.N. scientists who authored the official IPCC 2007 report."
Lishman says: Our leaders know that most people will eventually wake up to the Global Warming scam. This is why they are now urgently forging ahead with their plan to levy a world carbon tax on the individual.
Read full article here
Cyberspace has buried its head in a cesspit of climate change gibberish
(George Monbiot, London Guardian, December 9, 2008)
Lishman says: I didn't really like this article, but some of the comments below it were excellent and restored my faith in cyberspace. Here's a sample:
Prentendingtocare:
I question the climate change panic in much the same way as ive tried to question other scares that preceded it ...Aids, Bse, Sars, Bird flu , Terrorism etc ...No one is paying me anything to question these issues ..i do it because i like to think for myself ..as opposed to having people like you do my thinking for me...We get the message George ...loud and clear ..we just think its bullshit thats all ...theres no conspiracy to find ...just the majority of the British people disagreeing with you ...thats a healthy thing ...in a democracy..."
Lishman says: I just checked the rest of the comments below the article to find that some of the better responses to Monbiot's OpEd have been removed by the Moderator. Sadly the brilliant analysis by the poster Moveanymountain was also removed. For "Moderator" read "censor". Ironically the Guardian's section heading is called Comment is Free. Well done, Guardian! Showing your true colours again.
Read full article and comments here (bearing in mind that most of the dissenting voices will disappear in time)
Are the Greek riots a taste of things to come?
(London Independent, December 13, 2008)
"Bringing together youths in their early twenties struggling to survive amid mass youth unemployment and schoolchildren swotting for highly competitive university exams that may not ultimately help them in a treacherous jobs market, the events of the past week could be called the first credit-crunch riots. There have been smaller-scale sympathy attacks from Moscow to Copenhagen, and economists say countries with similarly high youth unemployment problems such as Spain and Italy should prepare for unrest."
Lishman says: The answer to the question is 'yes', this is a taste of things to come. And don't think our governments, police and army won't be ready for us when we do revolt. This is part of a long term plan to change the shape of society at a rapid pace. They will most likely provoke the riots and disorder themselves at a time they find most convenient.
Read full article here
Pound slips below euro on Britain's high streets
• £20 buys only €18 at UK exchange
• New rate 'key moment for economy'
(London Guardian, December 14, 2008)
"The government is facing a growing backlash over its rescue package for the economy after the pound slumped to below parity with the euro on British high streets and at airports for the first time since the single European currency was launched a decade ago.
Sterling's decline to a value of less than a euro, after commission charges, is seen by economists and opposition politicians as a pivotal 'psychological moment' - and evidence of declining faith in the British economy on global currency markets.
The case for euro entry was also put by leading economist and commentator Will Hutton. 'The pound buying less than a euro is an important psychological moment. Britain first doubted the euro would be launched, then whether it would survive, then whether it would ever become a serious currency,' said Hutton.
'Even today people are rushing to pronounce its death warrant. Now it is plainly the world's second currency after the dollar. As the pound becomes more volatile and less valuable, the euro will be seen increasingly as a safe haven - a zone in which both British industry and the City of London would flourish. The question is not if Britain will join, but when - and how many working lives and businesses will be wrecked by ideological opposition before it does.' "
Lishman says: The dollar and the pound are dying. The solution for Britain is further integration into the EU against the wishes of the majority of the people. The US will seek to fortify itself by joining Mexico and Canada in forming the North American Union. The NAU Constitution is due to be ratified in 2010. It will have its own currency. Can you see a pattern emerging?
Read full article here
(London Independent, December 7, 2008)
"Evolution is being distorted by pollution, which damages genitals and the ability to father offspring, says new study. Geoffrey Lean reports
The male gender is in danger, with incalculable consequences for both humans and wildlife, startling scientific research from around the world reveals.
The research – to be detailed tomorrow in the most comprehensive report yet published – shows that a host of common chemicals is feminising males of every class of vertebrate animals, from fish to mammals, including people."
Lishman says: Everything we touch turns to oestrogen. Also, the feminising effects of the 50 Hz electrical fields that we live surrounded by in Europe, leave no escape for the beleaguered male.
Read full article here
Scientists abandon global warming 'lie'
650 to dissent at U.N. climate change conference
(Global Research, December 13, 2008)
"WASHINGTON - A United Nations climate change conference in Poland is about to get a surprise from 650 leading scientists who scoff at doomsday reports of man-made global warming - labeling them variously a lie, a hoax and part of a new religion.
Later today, their voices will be heard in a U.S. Senate minority report quoting the scientists, many of whom are current and former members of the U.N.'s own Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change.
About 250 of the scientists quoted in the report have joined the dissenting scientists in the last year alone.
In fact, the total number of scientists represented in the report is 12 times the number of U.N. scientists who authored the official IPCC 2007 report."
Lishman says: Our leaders know that most people will eventually wake up to the Global Warming scam. This is why they are now urgently forging ahead with their plan to levy a world carbon tax on the individual.
Read full article here
Cyberspace has buried its head in a cesspit of climate change gibberish
(George Monbiot, London Guardian, December 9, 2008)
Lishman says: I didn't really like this article, but some of the comments below it were excellent and restored my faith in cyberspace. Here's a sample:
Prentendingtocare:
I question the climate change panic in much the same way as ive tried to question other scares that preceded it ...Aids, Bse, Sars, Bird flu , Terrorism etc ...No one is paying me anything to question these issues ..i do it because i like to think for myself ..as opposed to having people like you do my thinking for me...We get the message George ...loud and clear ..we just think its bullshit thats all ...theres no conspiracy to find ...just the majority of the British people disagreeing with you ...thats a healthy thing ...in a democracy..."
Lishman says: I just checked the rest of the comments below the article to find that some of the better responses to Monbiot's OpEd have been removed by the Moderator. Sadly the brilliant analysis by the poster Moveanymountain was also removed. For "Moderator" read "censor". Ironically the Guardian's section heading is called Comment is Free. Well done, Guardian! Showing your true colours again.
Read full article and comments here (bearing in mind that most of the dissenting voices will disappear in time)
Are the Greek riots a taste of things to come?
(London Independent, December 13, 2008)
"Bringing together youths in their early twenties struggling to survive amid mass youth unemployment and schoolchildren swotting for highly competitive university exams that may not ultimately help them in a treacherous jobs market, the events of the past week could be called the first credit-crunch riots. There have been smaller-scale sympathy attacks from Moscow to Copenhagen, and economists say countries with similarly high youth unemployment problems such as Spain and Italy should prepare for unrest."
Lishman says: The answer to the question is 'yes', this is a taste of things to come. And don't think our governments, police and army won't be ready for us when we do revolt. This is part of a long term plan to change the shape of society at a rapid pace. They will most likely provoke the riots and disorder themselves at a time they find most convenient.
Read full article here
Pound slips below euro on Britain's high streets
• £20 buys only €18 at UK exchange
• New rate 'key moment for economy'
(London Guardian, December 14, 2008)
"The government is facing a growing backlash over its rescue package for the economy after the pound slumped to below parity with the euro on British high streets and at airports for the first time since the single European currency was launched a decade ago.
Sterling's decline to a value of less than a euro, after commission charges, is seen by economists and opposition politicians as a pivotal 'psychological moment' - and evidence of declining faith in the British economy on global currency markets.
The case for euro entry was also put by leading economist and commentator Will Hutton. 'The pound buying less than a euro is an important psychological moment. Britain first doubted the euro would be launched, then whether it would survive, then whether it would ever become a serious currency,' said Hutton.
'Even today people are rushing to pronounce its death warrant. Now it is plainly the world's second currency after the dollar. As the pound becomes more volatile and less valuable, the euro will be seen increasingly as a safe haven - a zone in which both British industry and the City of London would flourish. The question is not if Britain will join, but when - and how many working lives and businesses will be wrecked by ideological opposition before it does.' "
Lishman says: The dollar and the pound are dying. The solution for Britain is further integration into the EU against the wishes of the majority of the people. The US will seek to fortify itself by joining Mexico and Canada in forming the North American Union. The NAU Constitution is due to be ratified in 2010. It will have its own currency. Can you see a pattern emerging?
Read full article here
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Mount Ti Bi Da Bo
It was like this. I'm standing on the side of Tibidabo. Kitler is sitting at my feet like an obedient dog. So maybe it wasn't really Kitler. Anyway, at the top of Tibidabo is a church and on top of the church is a statue of Jesus with his arms spread out. "Ti bi da bo" (I will give it to you) is what the Devil said to Jesus when he took him to the top of the mountain in an attempt to corrupt him by offering him all of life's worldly pleasures. The Devil spoke Latin, you see. Apparently, in the case of Barcelona, the idea of having Jesus up there with his arms spread out in offering is to say, "I will give you Barcelona". So why then, you may ask, is Jesus gesturing on behalf of the Devil to offer us the worldly pleasures of Barcelona? I know not, but... back to the dream.
So me and Kitler are standing on the slopes of Tibidabo among a crowd of about five thousand people. Jesus is addressing us from his plinth only it's not Jesus now it's Al Gore. Everytime I try to concentrate on the face it morphs into someone else. It's Obama. Then Einstein. Then Orwell, Julius Ceaser, Jonathan Ross, James Lovelock, Hitler, Madonna, Germaine Greer.
I can hear someone writing: tap, tap, tap-tap-tap.
Now, the many-faced one is talking about original sin and the transgressions of Adam and Eve in the garden.
Tap-tap-tap...
I raise my hand.
"Yes, Lishman" says the speaker, bearing the weary expression of my fourth form English teacher. The crowd turns to look at me. Kitler tries to hide behind my legs. There is great expectation.
I cough to clear my throat and begin speaking, "Sir, what is wrong with trying to attain the apple of knowledge? Surely, Eve was merely trying to improve herself, sir?"
There is a restless murmuring across the hillside. The people look worried as the speaker takes on angry forms: Saddam Hussein, Mussolini, Queen Elizabeth I, before calming down into George Orwell, the Dalai Lama and then Gandhi.
"But Lishman is missing the point", explains the speaker,"that particular branch of knowledge wasn't hers to touch and in disobeying the orders of her creator, she sent out the wrong message to everyone. She had to be punished. You see, Lishman, all of you are God's creation and you need to follow his rules or ELSE...", the speaker pauses mid-sentence as if to reconsider what it is saying, "OR else, you are nothing but a host of maggots eating up our resources. No good to anyone." The speaker gestures to where the crowd is standing. Everyone, apart from myself and Kitler, immediately falls to their feet and takes the form of man-size larva greedily gorging themselves on the vegetation.
Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap, tap-tap...
"But I prefer the idea that you're God's flock. A goodly host of sheep following the teachings of the great shepherd." At this point he turns back into Jesus holding a staff, which he strikes on the ground. The maggots become people again, most of them fairly shocked to find themselves with mouthfuls of grass, others chew on happily. I look down and realize that Kitler has disappeared.
I raise my hand again.
"Has no one else got any questions?", asks the speaker somewhat irritated, "Ok, Lishman, go ahead."
"Don't shepherds ultimately lead their sheep to slaughter?" I ask.
Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap.
"When it's time, yes.", says the speaker, with the sincere tone of Richard Burton in 1984. "We like to fleece them a few times first. Then we kill off the old and sacrifice the tenderest of the lambs. And of course when the stock is bad, we slaughter all of you... er them. And re-breed the flock from the strongest gene pool... tap-tap, tap tap tap tap, tap-tap-tap"
All the speaker's words disappear and become the frantic tap-tapping of a thousand typewriters. The speaker, who is now in the form of Prince Charles, begins to flicker and fade. Suddenly I notice that it's Kitler who's causing the speaker to disappear. She's on the plinth chewing on a cable. It's just a hologram, you see, and Kitler is attacking its power source.
Now I'm running up the hill to stop Kitler from being electrocuted, but before I can reach the top everything starts to shake from side to side. There's an earthquake. The mountain splits open and swallows the church. A few seconds later, the shaking stops. I look around, but there's no sign of Kitler. I walk up to the top and peer into the crater. Inside, there's no sign of the fallen church, instead there is row after row of writers sitting at their desks frantically typing.
"Hey, we can see you now. The games up." I shout down into the hole. Some of them look up. Others continue typing.
"Hey, it's over. We know you're making everything up." I shout. The ones that can hear me start alerting the others and before long they're all looking up at me peering over the edge of the crater.
"Yeah, that's right. Time to pack up your writing machines and go home. We see right through your lies." I scream.
Then I hear the mournful squeal of Kitler from nearby.
And I wake up, because Kitler is pawing my face.
Lauren sips on her tea, pondering something.
"Biscuit?" I say.
"Yes. The chocolate one." she replies.
"So you realise that in your dream..." says Lauren, pausing to sip more tea.
"Yes?" I say.
"Kitler is Toto."
"Yes, I suppose she is."
Well, we're certainly not in Kansas any more.
Solutions # 41: While they keep you focused on the present. They're changing your history and stealing your future. Dump the 15-minute culture. Read widely.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Where or when the truth lies...
...I know not.
On the twilit pages of today's press,
__________________I _________________
________________S- E- E______________
___________ O** ß** A** M** A**_______
_____ B*** I*** **** **** **** D*** E*** N***____
The** all-seeing-eye** had** a** dream** ticket__
The new president elect is Barack Obama, whose real name is Barry Soetoro. Why did he change his name? What will happen on December 15 when Barack/Barry's eligibility to be president comes under judicial scrutiny? Was he born in Hawaii or Kenya?
For the time being, we have worldwide euphoria, but the alarm clock has been set by Biden and Powel. The Nostradami of our times. If we are to believe them, the masses will awake - yet still without consciousness - to a great event. A major challenge for the newly anointed president. January 21 and 22 loom portentously. But here I urge caution, for prophets are best judged by their fruits. So I will wait before passing judgement.
The Rand Corporation, an extremely influential US think tank, proposes war with China, Russia, Iran or Japan to ward off the depression. The Chinese press abound with rumours of war. The English-speaking press scarcely mention it.
French troops (or are they EU troops?) maintain a presence in Chad.
EU troops (did you know the EU had troops?) prepare to enter the Congo.
Nearby Sudan, where the Chinese protect their oil interests, is unintentionally encircled.
Could this be the new president's "major challenge", a war with China?
Well, I'm sure Obama can be war-like if that's what is needed. His pre-electoral rhetoric included talk of attacking Pakistan in the hunt for terrorists. He's also surrounded himself with suitably bellicose people such as his own VP Joe Biden, who supported the Neo-Con war in Iraq.
Another is Zbigniew Brzezinski, who is Obama's chief foreign policy advisor. As President Carter's national security advisor in 1979, Brzezinski recruited Osama Bin Laden to lead an army into a war with Russia. This army, known as the Mujahadeen, was funded by the Saudis and armed by CIA via the Pakistani ISI. The Mujahadeen was the genesis of the modern day Al Qaeda. It was created by Western intelligence operations. Al Qaeda literally means - as Robin Cook noted in his newspaper column a few weeks before his death - "'the database',... originally the computer file of the thousands of mujahideen who were recruited and trained with help from the CIA to defeat the Russians".
But there's no guilt by association. The political world is just a hurtling rock of coincidence. It spins and spins and spins.
Solutions # : To avoid Racism, treat Barack Obama as you would any other politician.
On the twilit pages of today's press,
__________________I _________________
________________S- E- E______________
___________ O** ß** A** M** A**_______
_____ B*** I*** **** **** **** D*** E*** N***____
The** all-seeing-eye** had** a** dream** ticket__
The new president elect is Barack Obama, whose real name is Barry Soetoro. Why did he change his name? What will happen on December 15 when Barack/Barry's eligibility to be president comes under judicial scrutiny? Was he born in Hawaii or Kenya?
For the time being, we have worldwide euphoria, but the alarm clock has been set by Biden and Powel. The Nostradami of our times. If we are to believe them, the masses will awake - yet still without consciousness - to a great event. A major challenge for the newly anointed president. January 21 and 22 loom portentously. But here I urge caution, for prophets are best judged by their fruits. So I will wait before passing judgement.
The Rand Corporation, an extremely influential US think tank, proposes war with China, Russia, Iran or Japan to ward off the depression. The Chinese press abound with rumours of war. The English-speaking press scarcely mention it.
French troops (or are they EU troops?) maintain a presence in Chad.
EU troops (did you know the EU had troops?) prepare to enter the Congo.
Nearby Sudan, where the Chinese protect their oil interests, is unintentionally encircled.
Could this be the new president's "major challenge", a war with China?
Well, I'm sure Obama can be war-like if that's what is needed. His pre-electoral rhetoric included talk of attacking Pakistan in the hunt for terrorists. He's also surrounded himself with suitably bellicose people such as his own VP Joe Biden, who supported the Neo-Con war in Iraq.
Another is Zbigniew Brzezinski, who is Obama's chief foreign policy advisor. As President Carter's national security advisor in 1979, Brzezinski recruited Osama Bin Laden to lead an army into a war with Russia. This army, known as the Mujahadeen, was funded by the Saudis and armed by CIA via the Pakistani ISI. The Mujahadeen was the genesis of the modern day Al Qaeda. It was created by Western intelligence operations. Al Qaeda literally means - as Robin Cook noted in his newspaper column a few weeks before his death - "'the database',... originally the computer file of the thousands of mujahideen who were recruited and trained with help from the CIA to defeat the Russians".
But there's no guilt by association. The political world is just a hurtling rock of coincidence. It spins and spins and spins.
Solutions # : To avoid Racism, treat Barack Obama as you would any other politician.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
The Night of Brian
The titles roll.
The whistling refrain on the bright side of life fades.
I take the DVD out of the machine and put it back in its box.
'He's not the messiah. He's a very naughty boy.' Manel mimics in a Spanish accented falsetto. Laughter erupts. Admittedly, most of it's coming from Manel himself.
I open another bottle of wine. Rioja. I distribute it evenly among six of the glasses, almost emptying the bottle in the process. The seventh glass is still half full with Vichy water. That glass belongs to Louise. She hasn't touched a drop of wine all night.
Every time one of my female friends refuses a drink I tend to assume that she's pregnant. Especially if she's English.
'Are you sure I can't tempt you?' I say, proffering the bottle.
'No, really, I don't want any,' and with that she places her hand on her boyfriend Felix's knee, who puts his hand over hers.
Pregnant. Definitely pregnant.
Kitler pads slowly into the room clearly feeling sorry for herself. She climbs up on the sofa next to Julian, who begins to make a fuss of her. Then she does the rounds jumping from friend to friend. Everyone's pleased to see her. Now and again she catches my eye as if to say 'see how they love me?'
When she reaches Louise, she settles on her lap. Louise worked as a vet's assistant back in the UK and has a way with animals.
'She's still wheezing,' Louise says, looking into Kitler's eyes, while tickling her under her chin.
Then Lauren leans over to touch Kitler's nose. 'Poor Kitler!', she says, 'What's causing it? Is it all the pollution or the fact that Lishman is somewhat insufficient in the dusting department?' And with that she runs her index finger along the sideboard, turning her hand to show everyone the evidence of a badly-kept house.
'I assure you, Lauren, that Kitler's condition has nothing to do with dust,' I say mock defensively, 'It's much more likely to be caused by the...' I stop mid-sentence. I promised myself a night off tonight. Not to think about all the bad things.
'Is it the reptiles?' Manel jests in absence of my words, causing an avalanche of suggestions.
'Or the Pladians?' chimes in Felix.
'The Rothchilds?'
'The Clingons?'
'The Templars?'
'The Queen of England?'
'The masons?'
CRASH!!!!!!!
Kitler knocks the almost empty bottle of wine off the table and runs as fast as a wheezing cat can down the corridor and into my room.
I tell people not to move while I get the brush and shovel and begin sweeping up the broken glass. As I do so, Felix says 'You were about to say something a minute ago, what was it?'
'Nothing,' I respond, 'Another bottle?' I say brightly as I walk into the kitchen.
'Hey Lishman!' Lauren shouts, 'What were you going to say?'
'Nothing, nada, now't.'
'Yes, you were,' say Felix and Manel.
'Yes. You were going to say something,' says Louise.
'No, I wasn't. I'd finished,' I say. But now The Life of Brian is back in full swing.
'Oh, no you weren't,' they chorus.
'Oh, come on. Tell us before you go,' pleads Lauren.
'I wasn't going to say anything. I'd finished,' I insist, walking towards the kitchen.
'No, you hadn't,' says Manel.
'What won't he tell?' says Felix.
'He won't say,' replies Louise.
'Is it a secret?' asks Lauren.
'No,' I say.
'Is it?' says Manel.
'Must be. Otherwise, he'd tell us,' reasons Felix.
'Oh, tell us the secret,' they all shout.
'Leave me alone,' I say, grabbing the wine and opening it.
'What is this secret?' whispers Manel.
'Is it the secret of eternal life?' says Lauren.
'He won't say!' says Felix.
'Well, of course not. If I knew the secret of eternal life, I wouldn't say,' says Manel.
'Chemtrails,' I finally admit. 'I was going to say Chemtrails.’
'What?! Chemtrails are the secret of eternal life?!' says Felix.
'He's making it up as he goes along,' they all chorus, as I pour out more wine and fill up the crisp bowls.
'Wow. If you lot could remember history or something useful as well as you can Monty Python, we'd really be a force to be reckoned with,' I say.
'Here we go,' sighs Manel, 'Debbie the downer!'
'Better that than Debbie the dumb downer!' I retort.
'Anyway, who's for a game of shithead?' I say trying to change the subject. We clear the table and I deal out the cards.
I'm sure this is not representative of society, but out of the seven friends I've gathered here tonight, three are convinced by the chemtrail phenomenon. From the others, three waver between acceptance and denial. The other, Manel, thinks we're all sadly deluded conspiracy theorists. If I include myself, you could say that half of us are chemtrail believers. So if sanity is statistical, as mooted in Orwell's 1984, then I'm in good mental health this evening.
Louise, one of the believers, asks if I've made any headway in my investigation. I explain my recent findings. Namely the 65-year-old Catalan real-estate lawyer, Jordi, who's embarked on his own independent chemtrail truth campaign - which took the form of several letters to the Catalan Government. He began his campaign without having read anything on the internet. He discovered chemtrails because he has a good memory and noticed that these weirdly persistent vapour trails that criss-cross our skies are not normal. In fact, Jordi didn't even know the term "chemtrails" before I spoke to him a few weeks ago.
This sparks a fairly animated discussion. They all recognise the difference it makes when a sober professional man like Jordi asserts something unusual,compared to when a conspiracy analyst does the same.
'You never give up do you Lishman?' says Manel.
'No. Never,' I say.
'I respect you for that,' he says seriously.
'Cheers Manel.'
'At least your insanity is kind of consistent. I know where I am with you.'
'Deal the cards, Manel.'
We open another bottle of wine, play cards and talk on into the night. It's the usual kind of discussion bringing up all the world's ills, citing lots of info and data. The conclusion, however, always seems to be the same: an apathetic 'but what can you do?'
I get the same sense researching the New World Order. It's a global campaign of softkill, hardkill, shock and awe. Eventually the truth, rather than setting you free, paralyses you. It's too big for most people to comprehend never mind act upon. I mean, 'where do you start?'
And what's worse, you waste so much energy trying to convince your friends and loved ones that the New World Order even exists, that you don't ever get round to tackling it head on.
Meanwhile, the NWO moves on inexorably with its agenda.
So does the evening:
'The answer,' I say, rather incoherently out of the blue, 'is to choose your mission, focus. Basically compartmentalise ourselves and hit the monolith on many different fronts...'
'No, no, no,' interrupts Manel, 'the answer is......
ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE
[whistle]
The others join in:
ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE
[whistle]
Reluctantly, I join in, too.
ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE
[whistle]
I'm laughing now. Kitler comes back in the room and jumps on my knee.
ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE
[whistle]
Solutions # 38: Guard your sense of humour with your life. It's one of the things that separates us from robots.
The whistling refrain on the bright side of life fades.
I take the DVD out of the machine and put it back in its box.
'He's not the messiah. He's a very naughty boy.' Manel mimics in a Spanish accented falsetto. Laughter erupts. Admittedly, most of it's coming from Manel himself.
I open another bottle of wine. Rioja. I distribute it evenly among six of the glasses, almost emptying the bottle in the process. The seventh glass is still half full with Vichy water. That glass belongs to Louise. She hasn't touched a drop of wine all night.
Every time one of my female friends refuses a drink I tend to assume that she's pregnant. Especially if she's English.
'Are you sure I can't tempt you?' I say, proffering the bottle.
'No, really, I don't want any,' and with that she places her hand on her boyfriend Felix's knee, who puts his hand over hers.
Pregnant. Definitely pregnant.
Kitler pads slowly into the room clearly feeling sorry for herself. She climbs up on the sofa next to Julian, who begins to make a fuss of her. Then she does the rounds jumping from friend to friend. Everyone's pleased to see her. Now and again she catches my eye as if to say 'see how they love me?'
When she reaches Louise, she settles on her lap. Louise worked as a vet's assistant back in the UK and has a way with animals.
'She's still wheezing,' Louise says, looking into Kitler's eyes, while tickling her under her chin.
Then Lauren leans over to touch Kitler's nose. 'Poor Kitler!', she says, 'What's causing it? Is it all the pollution or the fact that Lishman is somewhat insufficient in the dusting department?' And with that she runs her index finger along the sideboard, turning her hand to show everyone the evidence of a badly-kept house.
'I assure you, Lauren, that Kitler's condition has nothing to do with dust,' I say mock defensively, 'It's much more likely to be caused by the...' I stop mid-sentence. I promised myself a night off tonight. Not to think about all the bad things.
'Is it the reptiles?' Manel jests in absence of my words, causing an avalanche of suggestions.
'Or the Pladians?' chimes in Felix.
'The Rothchilds?'
'The Clingons?'
'The Templars?'
'The Queen of England?'
'The masons?'
CRASH!!!!!!!
Kitler knocks the almost empty bottle of wine off the table and runs as fast as a wheezing cat can down the corridor and into my room.
I tell people not to move while I get the brush and shovel and begin sweeping up the broken glass. As I do so, Felix says 'You were about to say something a minute ago, what was it?'
'Nothing,' I respond, 'Another bottle?' I say brightly as I walk into the kitchen.
'Hey Lishman!' Lauren shouts, 'What were you going to say?'
'Nothing, nada, now't.'
'Yes, you were,' say Felix and Manel.
'Yes. You were going to say something,' says Louise.
'No, I wasn't. I'd finished,' I say. But now The Life of Brian is back in full swing.
'Oh, no you weren't,' they chorus.
'Oh, come on. Tell us before you go,' pleads Lauren.
'I wasn't going to say anything. I'd finished,' I insist, walking towards the kitchen.
'No, you hadn't,' says Manel.
'What won't he tell?' says Felix.
'He won't say,' replies Louise.
'Is it a secret?' asks Lauren.
'No,' I say.
'Is it?' says Manel.
'Must be. Otherwise, he'd tell us,' reasons Felix.
'Oh, tell us the secret,' they all shout.
'Leave me alone,' I say, grabbing the wine and opening it.
'What is this secret?' whispers Manel.
'Is it the secret of eternal life?' says Lauren.
'He won't say!' says Felix.
'Well, of course not. If I knew the secret of eternal life, I wouldn't say,' says Manel.
'Chemtrails,' I finally admit. 'I was going to say Chemtrails.’
'What?! Chemtrails are the secret of eternal life?!' says Felix.
'He's making it up as he goes along,' they all chorus, as I pour out more wine and fill up the crisp bowls.
'Wow. If you lot could remember history or something useful as well as you can Monty Python, we'd really be a force to be reckoned with,' I say.
'Here we go,' sighs Manel, 'Debbie the downer!'
'Better that than Debbie the dumb downer!' I retort.
'Anyway, who's for a game of shithead?' I say trying to change the subject. We clear the table and I deal out the cards.
I'm sure this is not representative of society, but out of the seven friends I've gathered here tonight, three are convinced by the chemtrail phenomenon. From the others, three waver between acceptance and denial. The other, Manel, thinks we're all sadly deluded conspiracy theorists. If I include myself, you could say that half of us are chemtrail believers. So if sanity is statistical, as mooted in Orwell's 1984, then I'm in good mental health this evening.
Louise, one of the believers, asks if I've made any headway in my investigation. I explain my recent findings. Namely the 65-year-old Catalan real-estate lawyer, Jordi, who's embarked on his own independent chemtrail truth campaign - which took the form of several letters to the Catalan Government. He began his campaign without having read anything on the internet. He discovered chemtrails because he has a good memory and noticed that these weirdly persistent vapour trails that criss-cross our skies are not normal. In fact, Jordi didn't even know the term "chemtrails" before I spoke to him a few weeks ago.
This sparks a fairly animated discussion. They all recognise the difference it makes when a sober professional man like Jordi asserts something unusual,compared to when a conspiracy analyst does the same.
'You never give up do you Lishman?' says Manel.
'No. Never,' I say.
'I respect you for that,' he says seriously.
'Cheers Manel.'
'At least your insanity is kind of consistent. I know where I am with you.'
'Deal the cards, Manel.'
We open another bottle of wine, play cards and talk on into the night. It's the usual kind of discussion bringing up all the world's ills, citing lots of info and data. The conclusion, however, always seems to be the same: an apathetic 'but what can you do?'
I get the same sense researching the New World Order. It's a global campaign of softkill, hardkill, shock and awe. Eventually the truth, rather than setting you free, paralyses you. It's too big for most people to comprehend never mind act upon. I mean, 'where do you start?'
And what's worse, you waste so much energy trying to convince your friends and loved ones that the New World Order even exists, that you don't ever get round to tackling it head on.
Meanwhile, the NWO moves on inexorably with its agenda.
So does the evening:
'The answer,' I say, rather incoherently out of the blue, 'is to choose your mission, focus. Basically compartmentalise ourselves and hit the monolith on many different fronts...'
'No, no, no,' interrupts Manel, 'the answer is......
ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE
[whistle]
The others join in:
ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE
[whistle]
Reluctantly, I join in, too.
ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE
[whistle]
I'm laughing now. Kitler comes back in the room and jumps on my knee.
ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE
[whistle]
Solutions # 38: Guard your sense of humour with your life. It's one of the things that separates us from robots.
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